Perspective

I was going to write about vegetables today, but it seemed kind of silly.  Part of being 40 has been this endless loop of nostalgia and gratitude for a happy healthy life and it is hard to go through a September 11th anniversary without some retrospect.

My morning today started with a phone call from a friend and former co-worker who shared a part of that horrific day with me, we always think of each other on the anniversary and I will always remember her mom who was the one who called and told me what was going on in New York.

There are several moments in my life that I remember clearly.  I remember singing Happy Birthday to a classmate in 7th Grade English in January of 1986 when the Principal announced that the Challenger had exploded.  I remember standing in the living room watching the Berlin Wall come down in November of 1989 after having just visited it the previous April.  I can still feel the pain of the day in December 2003 when my mom told me she had cancer.

September 11th was different.  I can see it so clearly, I can remember the whole day minute by minute.  I can see myself in my office before the news had reached me, as if I can see a different me.  We changed that day.  I can see my outfit, jeans and a long sleeve purple tee shirt, comfortable shoes that proved a smart choice as I walked home unsure what was safe and what wasn't.  The blue of the sky in Boston that day was stunning, the air clean and just starting to hint towards Fall.

I went to the grocery store and can remember everything I bought: a roasting chicken, potatoes, Stove Top and cranberry sauce -- I was making myself Thanksgiving dinner without realizing it.  I lived in a  studio apartment and could see the television from my bed across the room, but instead slept folded onto the loveseat afraid of missing something.

I find all the anniversary postings that say "Never Forget"  strange, as I can't imagine I could, even if I wanted to.