So, 40 is around the corner and I recently had a discussion about how I really do not feel like an adult. Clearly I am, as I am almost 40, but what truly makes us adults.
Here are the adult-like things I do:
- I work a full-time job with benefits and a 401k.
- I live alone in an apartment I pay the rent for myself.
- I pay bills, taxes, student loans regularly.
- I vote.
- I engage in adult activities like drinking and sex (and only giggle about it a little).
Here are the adult things that are completely foreign to me:
- I do not own a home or a car or really anything other than some furniture.
- I do not have a long term partner of the husband variety.
- No kids.
- No pets.
Ultimately I think adulthood is defined by our responsibilities and the weight of them. I do have responsibilities: I support myself and my yarn habit, I have a plant that might still be alive. My friends with kids seem so much more grown up than I am though, the weight of their responsibilities in life so much greater.
At the same time, I know there are plenty of irresponsible parents out there, so it isn't solely procreation.
Maybe living alone for this long has desensitized me to age. While my knees hurt a little more than they used to and I have to dye my hair more frequently I live in a bit of a timeless bubble (I always knew I would end up like Miss Havisham), which is why the 40 candles on the cake this year is kind of shocking. Sure I see other people's kids growing like weeds around me, but they aren't my kids, and I don't feel older.
What do you think? What makes a person grown up?
As morbid as this sounds, I don't think people truly grow up until their parents are gone.
ReplyDeleteThat said, as a single, childless, 40ish renter, I feel exactly like you. I feel like I just graduated from college. (And, BTW, how are you just turning 40? I turned 41 in March and we graduated together?!?) The worst part of being 41 for me is when I sign up for things online and they ask for a DOB and you have to use one of those pulldown menus to select your birth year, and you have to scroll all the way back to find it.
LOL, yes I have the exact same response to the pull down thing! I was only 20 when we graduated (skipped a grade in middle school) so I am the last member of Colby '95 to turn 40.
ReplyDeleteI agree about the parent thing too, not only are mine still here they are young and working. My life at 40 is very similar to my life at 20.